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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522716">hard when i hate myself</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffesting/pseuds/stuffesting'>stuffesting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band), Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Cancer, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, read trigger!, seunglix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:35:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,324</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffesting/pseuds/stuffesting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Promises were bound to be broken after all</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Seungmin &amp; Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hard when i hate myself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin? Seungmin? Do you hear me?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin came back from the dazed he was, his eyes wandered for a second, then he answered, “yeah i heard you,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You sure?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then nodded, and looked outside the window. The were a lots of people playing out on the field, they were playing football and other activities, all in the same uniform, just in different colours.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The doctor smiled, and looked at the report that he was currently holding, the doctor then gave a look to Seungmin’s aunt “Can I talk to you in private?,” he then led the way. Seungmin’s aunt nodded then followed the doctor from behind.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I think that’s the best for him,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes sure, everything that can make him better,” Seungmin’s aunt then peeked inside the doctor’s room, only to see Seungmin in a dazed while staring outside the window, again. She then sighed, “poor Seungmin,” she continued.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~ </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Have you heard? There is a new patient beside your room,” San told his friend about the news he just heard.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really? How is he? What was he diagnosed with? Is it cancer?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You didn’t know? I heard it’s depression,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really?....,” Felix voice started to got slower when he heard the word depression. “Must have been hard for him,” he continued while looking down.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Isn’t that him?,” San then pointed at Seungmin who just changed into his hospital dress, walking towards his room. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh, it’s true, he’s beside my room,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Told ya,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Felix,” the nurse suddenly called out for Felix, making Felix a little bit startled, he then turned around to face the nurse, Lia.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh my god, that startled me, yes noona?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hehe, that’s your new friend, Seungmin,” Lia then pointed to Seungmin’s room, “He’ll be here for a week only, be good to him, okay?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“A week?, Then what’s the point of him getting admitted?” San then asked after hearing that Seungmin will only get admitted a week.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We just need to observe him for the first week, and then decide if he needs more treatment, so let’s just pray that it’s only a week,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh,” San and Felix nodded together. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Okay I need to go, I have other patients, remember okay Felix, be nice to him, make friend, you too San,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">San and Felix smiled and nodded at Lia’s advice they then waved to Lia who walked away, heading to the elevator. The two were absolute troublemakers, but at least they listened to Lia’s advice. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“San, I need to go for my 7pm appointment, so let’s meet here again? Tomorrow? 10a.m? After our usual check up?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Okay, call, bye,” San then walked to the elevator to go back to his room two floor down from Felix’s and Seungmin’s.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Good job Felix,” the doctor praised him in a friendly-toned, “You did well,” he continued.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix smiled brightly, Felix’s smile is literally so precious that can make literally anyone melt for him, and absolutely can make someone’s day better.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“So can i go home now?,” Felix’s eyes shined as he asked the question.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The doctor sighed while smiling bitterly, but he absolutely tried his best not to show the bitterness, “Oh, Felix, Honey, I’m sorry,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh,” Felix lost his smile for a second, he then continued while smiling, “It’s okay, I saw that coming actually,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Omg where is San, what is taking him so long?,” Felix thought to himself while peeking at his watch. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Okay,” Felix then heard an unfamiliar voice not so far away from him, he turned his head to face the unfamiliar voice, it was Seungmin, walking with a middle-aged woman toward the elevator. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh, it’s the new guy,” Felix then followed behind them and entered the elevator together.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Aunt will be back this weekend to check up on you, be good okay,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">No answer from Seungmin.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin-ah,” his aunt faced him, “can’t you smile for aunt? hm?,” she then continued while rubbing Seungmin’s arms. Still no answer or even a little reaction from Seungmin. The elevator reached the ground floor, his aunt then sighed and smiled, “It’s okay,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix who was there the whole time, only became the audience of the one sided talk between Seungmin and his aunt. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They all then stepped out from the elevator and that’s when Felix parted ways with Seungmin when he heard San calling him, who was walking from the hospital cafeteria.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Sorry i’m late, i was eating with my mom,” San apologised as soon as he reached Felix.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“It’s okay, now let’s go play soccer?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Call!! Let’s go!,” San accepted Felix’s offer and they both went to the hospital’s park.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin walked to the bench, with his earphones on and a book on his hands. He was listening to DAY6’s songs, his favourite korean boy band. He sat on the bench and started to write a few things on his journal and suddenly there was a soft poke on his shoulder. He looked behind, there stand a boy with blonde hair and a little freckles on his cheeks, in the same uniform as his, staring at him. That boy was definitely talking, but Seungmin couldn’t hear a thing because of his earphones.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Let’s play soccer!,” Felix offered.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">No answer from Seungmin, just a blank face.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Can’t you hear me?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin arched his eyebrows and took off his earphones, Felix smiled at Seungmin’s reaction, “Let’s play soccer!,” Felix said the same sentence from before. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">‘This guy’s smile’</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hm?,” Felix’s continued after anticipating for Seungmin’s answer that he couldn’t get from earlier.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin got back to his comfortable position and plugged on his earphones again, which made Felix a little bit flustered by his reaction.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix then sat beside Seungmin, “Wah, are you really gonna ignore me?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hello?,” Felix then let out a frustrated sigh and lean back on the bench. He then saw Seungmin’s journal, “Oh, what is this?,” he took the journal.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Right when he about to open the journal, Seungmin quickly snatched it from him.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What are you doing?,” Seungmin asked in a kinda annoyed tone.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh you can talk! hi! l’m Felix! You’re Seungmin right?,” Felix held out his hand for a shake.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin stared at Felix’s hand, he then looked at Felix’s face, he arched his eyebrows, “How do you know me?,” he asked.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh...,” Felix then rubbed his neck after his hand being ignored, and he got an unexpected question from Seungmin. “A nurse told me,” he continued, “Oh but don’t worry, she didn’t tell me more than that,” Felix then smiled.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin stared at him, “I didn’t ask,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh,” Felix the bit his lip, “Sorry, it must have been hard for you,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin got up and let out a big sighed, “I didn’t ask for your sympathy, stop acting like you care,” he then walked away, in annoyance.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Wait! Seungmin!” Felix followed him behind a few steps, then he stopped, “You stupid! Why would you said that, erghhh,” he slapped his mouth a few times after the realisation of how stupid his words were, he then turned around and saw an old mp3 on the bench. He took and inspected it for a moment, “It must be Seungmin’s but how old is this? Why would he still use this kind of thing,” he thought to himself.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I should give it back to him later,” Felix pocketed the mp3 and got back on the field to continued playing soccer with San and the other.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~ </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“How was the talk with the new guy,” San asked while quenching his thirst. Felix shook his head while making a disappointed face.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really? Is it that hard?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix nodded at the question. “I guess it must have been really hard for him,” Felix let out his opinion. He felt this kind of guilty in him, that he didn’t know how to explain. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Felix! San!” Lia yelled from the counter, they both turned around to face the voice, “Come here!,” she said while waving at them.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Can you give this to Seungmin?,” Lia then passed a book.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What is this?,” Felix asked while opening the book, it was full of dried compact flowers stuck onto every page of it.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Something that Seungmin enjoy,” Lia answered, she then smiled, “Have you talk to him?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh noona, I tried, but it was difficult,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“It’s okay, take your time, don’t force him, it might stress him out even more,” Lia comforted Felix who was feeling a bit down. Felix then smiled.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Felix, can you go alone? I have to go back to my room,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh okay, bye, but before that, what’s the plan for tomorrow?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We’ll see tomorrow, okay bye,” San waved at him while heading back to the elevator.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Felix!,” Felix turned around only to see San standing inside the elevator while pushing the open button to hold back the elevator. “Thank you for today!,” San yelled, he waved at Felix, with a very big smile, while the levator’s doors were slowly closing.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix was a little bit flustered by San’s weird behaviour. He waved and smiled back at him and when the elevator were completely closed, he shook his head and thought to himself while chuckling, “Cute, what’s wrong with that guy,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Noona I’ll take this to Seungmin okay, bye,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix knocked on the door a few times, no answer. He took a deep breathe and gathered his courage, he opened the door.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin was in the bed, facing the window. The room was dark, there were only lights from outside the window.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin?,” Felix tiptoed into the room, “are you sleeping?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Still. No answer. “He must be asleep then,” Felix talked to himself, he then put the book on the bedside table and started to look around the room, “It’s just the same as my room,” he looked at the window and saw the curtains were wide open. He walked towards the window and stared outside a few seconds before closing the curtains.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What are you doing?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix got startled by the question, he turned around to face Seungmin, “Did i wake you up?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin sat up, “No, I was watching the sky, what are you doing?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh really? I thought you were asleep,” Felix stared at the floor while playing with his fingers, “Ah anyways, don’t worry I didn’t do anything, I was just here to give you the book,” Felix then looked up to face Seungmin and pointed at the book beside him. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What book?,” Seungmin asked while reaching out for it. He went through the pages, “It must be from mama,” he talked to himself, “why didn’t she give it to my herself,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin voice was so slow that Felix couldn’t even hear a word. “What did you said?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Not talking to you,” Seungmin answered while closing the book.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix nodded awkwardly, they went quiet for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You like collecting dried flowers?,” Felix asked.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin thought for an answer, after a while he shook his head. Felix then let out a very long “Oh,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But the nurse earlier said it’s something you enjoy?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Not me, my mom,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hm? Your mom?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin nodded, “i used to enjoy watching her collecting the flowers,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Used to?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, it was very hard,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then came back to his senses, he shook his head and faced Felix, “It’s none of your business, you should go back to your room,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Suddenly?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, now,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh... okay,” Felix then started to take a step slowly.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Before that, can you open the curtains back?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix quickly turned to open the curtains, “You really do enjoy the sky,” he then got out from the room, he closed the door behind him and leaned his back on it, he let out a big kinda relieved sigh. “Talking to him is like walking on the eggshells,” Felix mumbled to himself, he then walked away from Seungmin’s room and went back to his room.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I really do enjoy the sky,” Seungmin answered to Felix’s previous question right after Felix was gone. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix threw himself on the bed and put his hands inside his pocket to take out his phone only to felt a familiar but unfamiliar object in his pocket, he took it out, “oh Seungmin’s mp3,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Maybe I should give it to him tomorrow,” Felix then turned to the his room’s curtains that were shut closed. He got up and opened the curtains.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix stared at the mp3 he was holding, “What kind of song is he into?,” he thought to himself and started to plugged in the earphones. “But how do I use this thing,” he then pressed on random buttons on the mp3, after a while of trying, a song finally started to play.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Afraid by DAY6. Felix listened to the song while staring at the sky, he started to smile “It really is pretty,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~ </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh Seungmin!,” Felix sat infront of Seungmin in the cafeteria, “Wah you have a really good taste in music,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,” Seungmin who was eating, stopped his action to look at Felix, just how much does this guy know about him, he then started to have a wild thoughts.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix smiled, sillily, “Yah! Don’t make a face like that!, I’m not a stalker,” he said while waving his hands, he then pulled out the mp3 from his pocket, “here, it was on the bench yesterday,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ah..” Seungmin then took the mp3, “I thought it was gone, thank you,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Are you really thankful?,” Felix asked in excitement.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin gave no reaction.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“So you’re not that thankful to answer me i guess,” Felix pouted when he got no answer from Seungmin, he then started to dig in his foods.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What do you want?,” Seungmin asked while chewing his foods, without even looking at Felix.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really? Are you really gonna do it for me?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Tell me first and i’ll think about it,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Let’s go stargazing tonight!,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin got a little flustered by Felix’s favor, “huh?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I fell in love with the sky yesterday, thanks to you, I stared at the sky while listening to the songs in your mp3 for hours!,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really?...”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Like seriously! I didn’t lie!,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But why?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh? Do I really have to have a reason why I fell in love with the sky? I just did!,” Felix smiled brightly.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix’s smile.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin got lost in his thoughts for a moment. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin?,” Felix waved his hand infront of Seungmin to get him back to his senses, “Seungmin?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh? Oh, what?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix smiled again when Seungmin got back to his senses, “So? Will you do it?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh okay..”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really! Nice! Then see you tonight!,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Tonight?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, tonight! You’ll be discharge tomorrow right, so tonight is the only night we have,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh? How did you know?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“It’s just my instinct, you know my instincts never lie,” Felix said confidently, he then giggled, “It’s okay, I will make sure you discharge tomorrow!,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin was absolutely flustered by Felix’s words, but of course he didn’t show it and just focused on his food.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Where is San, he’s always late,” Felix talked to himself.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The little sudden poke on Felix’s shoulder made him turn around, “Felix,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh Doctor!, Why?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I think we have to check up on you a little today, is it okay if you skip today’s plans?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ah... Really? But San is not here yet,” Felix answered, he then saw Lia who just happened to walked past him, “Noona!” he yelled and started to run to her, “Can you tell San that I have appoinment today and couldn’t join him? Tell him i’m sorry too,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Lia nodded and smiled, “For sure,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix then followed the doctor to his room.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin stared at his watch, maybe he should head back inside?, he thought to himself, “It’s been 20 minutes, where is he?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then heard a fainted yell from behind “Seungmin!,” it was Felix, who was out of breathe infront of the rooftop door, Felix then walked towards him while panting.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I’m really really really sorry, but there was a sudden check up earlier, that’s why i’m late,” Felix apologised while catching his breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Likewise, no answer from Seungmin.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Wah, I came here running and you’re still acting like this?,” Felix said, feeling disappointed while seating himself beside Seungmin.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I only doing this because I’m thankful, nothing more,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I know, I know,” Felix answered, “Oh, you’re listening to your mp3, share it with please,” Felix pleaded with a puppy eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin stared at him for a moment, “No,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix pouted, he then smiled and started to stare at the sky, “It’s the same as yesterday, so pretty,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“It’s different today,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix arched his eyebrows, he then asked “What do you mean?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I don’t know, but i feel like, it’s different yesterday,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I think it’s just the same, the color, the moon, the stars, it’s still pretty, like yesterday,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I think it’s prettier today,” Seungmin answered in a very slow voice, that Felix barely heard him.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh? What did you say?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Nothing,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really? You’re always like that, but it’s okay, i’ll give you a free pass since you’re cute,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,” Seungmin who was looking confused, stared at Felix.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Why? No one ever told you that, you’re cute,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin quickly looked away, his face started to got reddened, flustered by Felix’s sudden words. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Are you shy?,” Felix then teased Seungmin who clearly got shy by his words.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No i’m not,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes you are,” Felix said while bumping his shoulder to Seungmin’s.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, just shut up,” Seungmin said in a embarrassed tone.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You’re even cuter when you’re shy,” Felix continued while chuckling.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Shut up, just look at the sky,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix turned his stares to the sky, “Oh right, we’re here because of that sky right? I got confused between you and the sky,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin smiled a little, he then pulled off his left earphone and pluggd it into Felix’s left ear, Felix then looked at him, a little flustered “Ohh, you’re finally give it to me after i praised you a little? I guess I have to praise you a lot then,” Felix then continued to look at the stars.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It was the same from yesterday, the same song, the same sky, the same place, but the feelings were completely different for the two of them. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin stared at Felix for a moment, a smile was then created, a genuine smile this time, after a long time, he was finally smiling, because of the guy, named Felix infront of him, he slowly started to remembered the feelings of happiness again.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~ </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“This is so weird, I haven’t seen San since yesterday,” Felix thought to himself while waiting for the elevator, he planned to go to San’s room.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">When then elevator opened, Seungmin came out from him, “Oh Seungmin! Hi! Where are you going?,” Felix then started to followed him from behind. “Maybe Seungmin, have you seen my friend? San? Who was always with me?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin’s vibe was kinda different from last night, he didn’t even react to Felix’s question and kept on walking, Felix then held Seungmin’s shoulder “Min-nie, are you okay?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Min-nie?,” Seungmin turned around looking completely annoyed.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Sorry, I shouldn’t call you that, it was a slip of my tounge! Sorry!,” Felix still able to smile even he knew that Seungmin was absolutely in a bad mood.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We’re not even that close for you to have a nickname for me,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,” Felix was obviously startled at the insensitive words.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Stop acting so close to me just because we shared the same earphones yesterday, we’re not, and stop giving your opinions, no one really cares,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin.....”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You’re annoying, please go away, I don’t want you here,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Do you mean it?,"</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, go away,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix eyes started to sparkled, but he tried his best to held his tears back. “Okay, sorry,” he then walked towards the elevator, the frustration inside him that he couldn’t let it out, only he knows how it feels like.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix entered the elevator and let out a deep breathe, “What a really rude guy,” he mumbled to himself, “Aggldjs he’s so annoying,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">When he arrived at San’s floor, he saw the familiar woman, San’s mom. She didn’t seem to be in a good shape, Felix started to felt suspicious, he then greeted San’s mom, “Aunt,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Felix?,” San’s mom answered in a hoarse voice.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ah yes, i’m here looking for San, where is he? Is he okay?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“San....” San’s mom pulled Felix into a hug, she started to cry, “I’m sorry Felix..,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,” Felix didn’t get to process the entire situation. “Aunt, why are you sorry....?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Sorry Felix,” San’s mom pulled away from the hug and looked at Felix in the eyes with a very sad stares.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Aunt?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“San is not here anymore....,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,” Felix got lost in his thoughts, he gone blank, after a few seconds, his legs lost its strength, he fell.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Room 604 is the teenage boy named San right?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes why?,” Lia asked the other nurse.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“He’s gone..,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Lia arched her eyebrows, “Huh?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I heard you’re pretty close to him, go visit him for the last time...,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No... what are you talking about?,” Lia was so shocked until she thought her friend was joking, until her friend shook her head and giving her the looks of full of pity to Lia. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Lia shook her head, she put the patient’s record that she was holding on the counter and quickly ran upstairs to San’s room.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin who was there, happened to overheard the conversation between the two nurses, “San?,” he thought to himself, then he remembered Felix’s question from earlier, the feeling of guilt started to wrapped around his body.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~ </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Night came, Seungmin stared at sky while laying on his bed, he kept on thinking about what happened earlier. A lot happened.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">First, he couldn’t go back home after a week, second, the news of Felix’s friend really did bothered him. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then got up and headed to the rooftop. When he opened the rooftop door, he can clearly see Felix was already there, staring at the sky, Seungmin slowly walked his way towards Felix and poked his shoulder, “Are you okay?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix then turned around only to see Seungmin standing behind him, “Seungmin? What are you doing here? Tryna pick a fight with me again?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh, no,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix ignored him and continued watching the sky.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I heard about what happened, i’m sorry,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix was still ignoring him.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Please, i’m sorry, I was mad earlier because I couldn’t leave this place until I fully recover, then I realised, it wasn’t even your fault, i’m sorry,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Still, no answer from Felix.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then sighed and pulled out his mp3 and played DAY6’s comfort songs, he took the earphones and plugged it on Felix’s left ear and his right ear, he then looked at the sky together with Felix beside him.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix who was a bit flustered, freezed for a moment, he took a deep breathe and faced Seungmin, “Min-nie,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then turned to face Felix after he heard Felix calling out for him by the nickname, but this time he was not mad, he smiled.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix saw Seungmin’s smile for the first time.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It was suddenly warm for the both of them when Felix decided to pull Seungmin into a hug. Seungmin stood still didn’t know how to react to the situation, but then he heard Felix crying.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin slowly took his hands and rubbed the back of Felix’s body, he rubbed it gently for Felix to feel at home, he knew that Felix misses this kind of warmth.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The moment that Felix really wish to stop the time. Only if he could.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~ </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They both were now seated at the bench of the rooftop. Stargazing, again. It was silent for a while, until Felix started the conversation, “I’m sorry I was just scared,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh?,” Seungmin got lost by Felix’s words, why would he be scared.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Me and San, we were diagnosed by the same illness, leukimia,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Silent.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I’m scared that I might ended up like him,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, don’t say that,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hm?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Please promise me that you’ll stay strong for me,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Please, be with me, until the end,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What do you mean?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I like you....”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix got so shocked that he didn’t know how to react to the sudden confession by Seungmin.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I like you so much Felix, so please stay with me, don’t leave like everyone else did.” Seungmin continued. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin’s words this time were full of sadness, Felix could feel it. “Seungminnie,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then looked at Felix, he then closed his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix leaned in, slowly, until their lips touched. It was soft, it was sweet. There were butterflies in their stomachs, their heart were beating so fast, the adrenaline rush inside them right now, but, they still loved this kind of feelings.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix was the first one to pulled back, he then waited for Seungmin to open his eyes just to continue, “I like you too,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They both then giggled from the awkwardness and the feeling of the little sparks in them, the sparks of proof that their story has started.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin walked to the park alone, only to see Felix who was already on the bench waving at him. Seungmin smiled at the cute childish behaviour.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I see you smiled a lot these days,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Maybe it’s because of you?,” Seungmin then giggled.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Cute, look here, i have a compacted dried flower for you, i made it,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then took the flower from Felix’s hand, “Oh thank you,” he smiled again.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“So? Tell me about it,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“About what?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“The dried flowers,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh... about that”,</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You don’t have to if you’re still uncomfortable,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, I can talk about it, it’s my mom, she liked to collect dried flowers and paste it onto the pages the book, but then one day.. my dad passed away,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Huh? Sorry...,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, it’s not even your fault, wdym sorry, don’t be, he just happened to have a heart attack that took his life, after that, my mom lost her sane, she went insane,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix still focused listening to the story, “she left me, with my aunt, then never come back, she just gave me things thru anybody, but never direct to me,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“...and that’s when i started to lose my mind too, it triggered my anxiety, then i was diagnosed with depression, and that’s why i’m here,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“in the end, everyone left,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey babe, i’m here for you okay?,” Felix then cupped Seungmin’s face and placed a kiss on his forehead, “I won’t leave you okay?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then smiled, “yeah you promised, don’t break it, okay?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes Seungmin-nie promise,” Felix then pulled Seungmin into a hug, a very tight one.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Let’s meet at the rooftop again tonight?,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then nodded.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin laid on his bed, he chuckled thinking about Felix, the cuteness of Felix, the smile of Felix, the smile that left the sun jobless, the silliness, he loved it. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">After a while, Seungmin finally socialised with everyone, the process was good, he was finally healing. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Two continuous knocks on the door, “Come in!,” Seungmin yelled from inside. The doctor then came in.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin! I have great news for you!,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes! What is it?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You can discharge next week!,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Really? Really I can be discharged?!,” Seungmin’s eyes started to sparkles.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yes, you’re doing better now, absolutely better,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then smiled from ear to ear, the excitement inside of him that he couldn’t wait to share with Felix, he then hugged the doctor, “Thank you so much, doctor,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then pulled away and ran to the rooftop. When he got to the rooftop, he plugged in his mp3 and started to listen to music while staring at the sky.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It’s been an hour, but still, Felix hadn’t arrived yet. Seungmin started to get worried. He dialed Felix’s number numerous times but still, no answer. He then gave up and head downstairs to Felix’s room.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">When he reached Felix’s room, all he could see is Felix’s sister, a doctor and a few nurses in his room, it was kinda crowded. Seungmin got curious he then walked towards the room. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Finally, discharge day!,” Seungmin got very excited for today because he can finally leave this hospital. He sang and chuckled excitedly while getting ready. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He put on his casual clothes after a long time, he then went to checkout himself on the mirror, “Felix loved this colour,” Seungmin talked to himself while smiling ear to ear.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin’s aunt came into the room, “You look very excited Seungmin,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Of course I am,” Seungmin answered happily. His tone, his facial expression, it was all perfect, he was finally okay again. Seungmin’s aunt then left to the parking lot after she took Seungmin’s things.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin took the bouquet of flowers and the mp3 beside it on his bedside table. He then walked kinda hopping to Felix’s room, very excited to meet the love of his life.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He knocked on the door twice, without waiting for an answer, he opened the door, and went to Felix’s bed to suprise him.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Strange enough, there was nobody there. The bed was completely clean with the blanket all folded on top of the pillow. It was like, Felix was never there at the first place. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Was he?</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin lost the smile on his face, the bouquet of flowers he was holding fell from his hand, he body started to get shaky, his legs lost its strength.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He fell to the floor,</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">[AUTHOR’S NOTE: recommended to listen to ghost of you by 5sos]</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Seungmin-nie, I’m scared I might end up like San,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Lixie, don’t say that please, you can do it, i’m here for you,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But what if I didn’t get to see your face getting wrinkled, your hair turning white?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You will,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Min-nie, please i’m scared,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin entered Felix’s crowded room, Felix was there, laying on the bed, with no strength, “Felix,” Seungmin eyes started to get teary, he went to Felix’s side and held his hands.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No Felix are you okay? No,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Min-nie....,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The heart rate monitor’s sounds started to get slow.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No,” Seungmin started to cry, “No you promised to meet me at the rooftop right?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">No answer from Felix.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No Lixie, you promised for us to grow old together, you promised to see me get better, i’m better now, i can be discharge next week, Lixie please,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix then put his hand of Seungmin’s cheeks and started caressing it, “you’re very warm tonight,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No Lixie please, No, you promised,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Min-nie sorry, but forget about me please?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, Felix you promised, you promised that you will not leave me like every one else did, you promised, please,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Min-nie....,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The heart rate monitor’s sounds got slower than before.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Thank you for everything,”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I’m sorry, so sorry,”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Please don’t hate me okay min-nie?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No Felix please, please just please stay with me, please, you promised remember? Look what I brought for you, my mp3, we can listen to the song together please don’t do this to me,”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Let’s look at the sky together,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“For the last time?,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No don’t say that Felix please,”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Felix smiled, he still managed to smiled despite his current situation, that smile as bright as the sun really broke Seungmin more.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Please,” Seungmin held Felix’s hand even tighter.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I love you Seungmin,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin could felt Felix’s hand has completely lost its strenght. The heart rate monitor showed, that Felix, was no longer there with them.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin gasped.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No. no, please Felix, stay with me, please, you didn’t even say goodbye, Lixie please, you promised,” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">~~</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin who was still on the floor started to remembered the painful memories of the guy named Felix, the one who once had a smile of the sun, brighter than the sun, the one who made him happy, the one who promised.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">But promises were bound to be broken after all.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You promised.”</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You liar, i hate you,” he then went silent for a moment.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I didn’t even get to say I love you back,” a tear started to rolled down his cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Seungmin then left the room, with the mp3 and the bouquet of flowers on top of the bed.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! kinda rushed! sorry for any grammar mistakes and typos!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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